Silent Sorrow Behind the Beautiful Smile!

While 2020 was difficult for many people, I was having a pretty good year. I had no reasons to complain and was lucky in many ways. A good thing that came out of the global pandemic was that my family got to spend more time together. We were enjoying each other’s company, learning about one another, and rediscovering the true meaning of being united. In the comfort of our homes, we took all the precautions required to evade COVID-19. Little did we know that a bigger demon lurked right around the corner.

It was Saturday morning, 31st October 2020, when my brother all of a sudden started trembling. His arms and legs quaked before he fell unconscious. We rushed him to the local hospital. Our whole family huddled together as we waited with baited breaths for the diagnosis. Time ticked by slowly before the doctors joined us. With somber faces, they revealed my brother suffered from an attack of seizure.

Over the next few hours, doctors ran multiple tests before they sat us all down. “He has a mass in his brain. It’s a brain tumor”

My hands went cold and my chest tightened. I was engulfed by the waves of difficult emotions — from fear and worry to profound sadness and shock. What overwhelmed me the most was the fear that I will never be able to cope.

At just 30, my brother had been given the heaviest news a person can get.

In one fell swoop, our family tree was obliterated. Or so I felt. The emotional upheaval had made it difficult to function or to even think straight.

This year, 2022 marks two years since his diagnosis. He underwent surgery and radiotherapy followed by chemotherapy. Major side effects like hair loss and weight gain took centre stage in his life.

It wasn’t till he shaved his head completely that the true weight of the situation hit my brother. He was not able to express his feelings but the impact on his mental health was profound.

All of us took a resolve to see him only with smiling faces. Everyone in the family supports him and tries to boost him at every level without letting him get even a hint of the pain we are hiding in our hearts. When enduring a difficult time in your lives, it’s important to acknowledge and accept that you can’t control everything. The only thing you can control is your reaction to the situation. At some point, you will need to step your feet forward and continue on. Many serious health problems seem to develop unexpectedly, upsetting your life out of the blue. Watching a person going from being a travel freak to getting bedridden with all the artificial sources attached to life is really terrifying.

It is no surprise then that such a situation, at some point, breaks the family. As the adage goes, that which doesn’t break you makes you stronger. Each time you endure a difficult time in your life, you build personal character and it is this character that will carry you through the good times to come and give you more strength for the next time you experience a tough period in your life. It is the most difficult times in our lives that truly test our faith in God. It is truly said by William Shakespeare, “The miserable have no other medicine but only hope.” We sometimes feel like we are alone in this world dealing with our problems and no one understands what we are going through. Rest assured that someone somewhere has experienced what you are experiencing, perhaps even going through the same thing right now. At some point, you will need to move your feet forward and continue on. Taking stock of the smaller things in life can help you get through your grief and recover. Here’s hoping you eventually discover the bigger things in life to be thankful for.